Have you ever lost a lottery? Or even worse, have you ever torn a lottery ticket and then found out you won? Even worse, did you regret you didn’t participate at all after watching someone else win? If your answer to any of my questions is no, let me tell you what this feels like.
I am fond of writing since I can’t remember. Probably ever since I won an English Olympiad. Words are to me what water is to a fish and the sky is to the sparrows. This was one of the zillion reasons why I chose the Media, communication, and Journalism degree. My sole purpose is to curate simple words for simple and not-so-simple people like me. Why this backstory? Every beautiful matter begins with the roots. My roots, if you didn’t make it out by now, are wrapped around pens, papers, and lately, a keyboard.
Once I was carrying some detective work on my very dearly laptop. Dearly because I have secrets and thoughts written in it that only me and God knows. While carrying out the research, I virtually bumped on this website named ‘Writing Hat’. My curious bones pounded upon reading the first word of its name. I knew I had to click it. This click landed me on the homepage which quoted, “Get Writing. Get inspired. Get published.” That’s it. I knew I had to log in and just give away my bank details or complete 10 assignments for them. No seriously, I was all into whatever ‘The Hat’ asks. Once I was one of the hundreds of writers participating under the adult category, I dived in the pool of wordings and participated in many contests. ‘The scent of rain’ is still my number 1 favorite.
From one topic to another, I found my way back to writing. I found my happiness, got a platform. So, it only comes down to one question, Did I win, like ever? No, never. Did It break my heart? Yes. Developed self-doubts? Definitely, yes. But did I stop participating? Well, embarrassing but, yes! When the ship stopped sailing, it turned into a wreck. For months, I visited The Hat just to binge read all of the amazing entries comparing and to be honest, completely wasting my time not writing. Apart from learning new words and styles of writing, I did absolutely nothing productive. Simply watching others participate and win was my daily brush and bath.
What changed? Drowning in boredom, I decided to pick a pen again. There was a fresh topic posted on The Hat. So, I started writing again, but a little distracted this time. Constantly irritated, using foul language, taking way too many breaks, and most importantly, my write-up didn’t feel like me. As distracted, as one could be, I started reading all the entries again. Two entries, four, eight, sixteen, and the numbers just went on increasing until I found that one entry. As I was reading through the lines, I found myself completely drowned in it. Starstruck at the word usage jealously brewed over me. ‘Why can’t I write like this?’, I thought. With all that rage inside me, I immediately started to type.
I wrote and wrote and wrote with everything I had inside me. But wait, let me check the guidelines. As I went over the rules, there it was- my ultimate guilt moment. Oh wait, the deadline was yesterday! My hand couldn’t help but pat my forehead. You know the moment when the ground below your feet slips? I felt exactly that, no drama. The pool of wordings was now replaced by a pool of regret.
Although I tried my best and finished the whole blog, the thought of watching someone else write while I sat and watched doing nothing was a whole different disappointment. This was the connection that I missed. One thing I learned- If you need to get a thing done, just go for it. Hold no second thoughts. Always remember, it is better to lose than to not participate at all.
And then… my Wi-Fi went off. Ugh, here I missed another connection.
To read more, log on to the WritingHat website.
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